I am a recovering nice guy. What does that mean? Well its a man who has been nice to everyone. A man who has been doing everything he can to be liked. A man who thinks that he is owed, because he has followed all the rules and done everything right.
I thought that by doing the right things that I was being the right guy. That by being nice to others they would like me and want to be around me. I thought I would feel appreciated, wanted and liked. It wasn’t the case. I felt more alone, resentful, frustrated and confused. I put so much effort into pleasing others and I was never satisfied with the return I got.
I lived this way for a while and it effected both my personal and work life. It took a men’s retreat and a lot of introspection to realize that it wasn’t the world that was the problem, it was ME. I expected others to make me happy, without telling them how. I wanted work to provide, without knowing what I really wanted. I wanted what I was owed because of my nice behaviour. That
doesn’t sound very nice does it.
This was a hard lesson, that challenged ingrained beliefs and difficult histories. It was a lesson that took me out of being the nice guy and brought me to where I am more authentic and powerful. I take what I learned and use it to help other men who are going through the same thing. To have a more fulfilled life, happier relationships and success at work. This is what we all want and can have.