08/08/2017 by Kevin Campbell 0 Comments
What does it mean to be Authentic
In the past blogs I have spoken about Authenticity, being connected to it and finding power through it. But what is this exactly? In many self help books, blogs, videos and articles, authenticity is emphasized and lauded, but rarely explained. Simply put authenticity is when one acts out of their true desire separate from other’s expectations.
For the Mature Masculine authenticity starts with questioning the reasons why a man does what he does. Questions like, who is he doing this for, what is he getting out of it, how much is he putting in and is he forcing himself to do it? It is about getting to the heart of the motivation. To see how much of what he is doing is truly what he wants to do. For many men the motivation to act comes from the external, wanting to please, wanting to control, wanting to impress, wanting to be validated and wanting to be recognized. When the motivations are questioned space is opened up and he can see if that is really what he wants to do, and if that is really who he wants to be.
Through questioning a man begins the journey of self discovery. Taking steps away from what others think, giving space for what he really wants to do, and who he really wants to be. We can’t forget though, that we live in a communal society. It is impossible to live whatever way you want completely. There are rules and norms that we as men still live by in our communities to create a safe place to live. Actions have consequences and men cannot do whatever they wish out of Authenticity and be justified in doing so. There is still responsibility of action. The explanation here of Authenticity is the allowing of a person’s inner desires and individuality to come forth in his behaviours and thoughts, not being predominately motivated by the desires and thoughts of others. This while being mindful of the consequences of his actions.
Like all things Authenticity is not an absolute. It exists alongside the influences of family, friends and culture. In its healthy form it allows for the expression of uniqueness and individuality in a non-judgmental, non-shameful environment that the man creates for himself. In its unhealthy form it can justify harmful and destructive behaviour. The Mature Masculine walks the path of healthy authenticity, allowing himself the space to express and shine, while not imposing on others.
How Authentic is your life? How much more Authentic would you like it to be? Simple questions for powerful change. It is your birthright to be Authentic. Your uniqueness is priceless. You are worth it, let it shine.